Dear Tyler,

Hey there my pumpkin! How are you doing today? Mom is doing ok. I actually got some sleep last night. It is super sunny today and I got right back to my routine so all is well. I am writing to you early because I have a hair appointment at 6pm. I am getting a cut and highlight. Mom started to highlight her hair with blond and copper. Everyone seems to like it so that's good...lol! Wish you could see it. I would love to get your opinion. I miss that with us. I miss our conversations. I really miss you! 
 Wanted to let you know that Max is failing more these last few days. As you know he has been for quite some time now but he has been holding his own. He is a tough cookie. This last week he is not really drinking a lot anymore and when he urinates he is bleeding. It makes me so sad. Can you please sit with Max and be there with him? I am here all the time but I can't seem to get him to do the things he needs to do..drink. It is just so heart breaking. His eye is getting worse too. Really bloodshot. He doesn't appear to be in pain. He just sleeps a lot. If you can be with him and pet him I know he would love it. The pups really miss you. I talk about you all the time to them and they just look so sad. It is going to sound funny but sometimes when Snickers is just staring at me I swear sometimes it isn't him looking at me.. it is you. He just hangs on and stares at me until I am finished talking. I know.... it is weird but it is just a feeling I get. It happens like a couple times a week. The feeling I get is just so strong. I haven't told anyone about it until now to you. I think people would look at me like I am just freaking crazy. 
 Everything else seems to be going ok. No complaints right now. Just go day to day and do the things I want and what needs to get done. Today I thought of you when I was preparing Mom's beef stew. I remember just how much you liked it. I miss cooking for you and baking you cookies. I miss hearing you say you love my cooking. It is all the little things that I miss so much. I don't think I will ever not stop missing you and the things we used to talk about, watch, play, laugh, and joke of. How do I live on and learn to go on without you? I am having such a hard time with all this. I wish you could help me from your side now. I need you, Tyler. I am so lost without you. I long to see you and hear your voice. I long to see that you are happy and that you are freed of all that confined you in the physical world. I long to see you walk and I long for you to give me a hug. I love you with everything I have and more. Always and forever. 
 I will look to the sky tonight and look for my bright star and tell you I love you like I always do each night. I hope you have a wonderful night and have a ton of sweet dreams. I love you my precious son. I miss you. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!