Dear Tyler,

Hi my precious son. I hope you are well today. Mom is kinda in a depressed mood right now. It is 3:00 pm and I should not be sitting in the office typing you this letter right now. I should be on an airplane going back to NH to see family and friends and writing this letter to you later this evening from Meme's house. As you know we do not always get what we want and unfortunately this is one of these cases. I am so sad though. I have not been back home in 4 months and I really wanted to be there. My heart hurts in so many ways. Missing you, missing Meme & Grandpa, missing other family and missing friends. I see things that are posted on FB about what others are doing and I say to myself I should be there. I would be doing that with them, but I am not and I am missing out on so much. I wanted to go to NH to come visit and talk to you at your resting place. I know I can talk to you where ever and when ever but it is just not the same for Mom. I hear that others go and visit you and I envy them because I can't. I want to put things at your site and clean it up and maintain it but I can't from where I am. I sometimes wonder if I did the right thing. Other times I believe I did for the rest of the family to be able to go and sit and talk with you. I think that you would agree with how I feel on both. I know you would tell me that what I did was just fine and that you would understand. Your approval is so important to me. Everything about you is so important to me. I miss you so much. I miss talking to you and making decisions with you. I love you with all my heart. You showed me what unconditional love was. I will be forever thankful to you for that. You showed me many other things too. They are in my memory and in my heart as well. forever that is where they will stay. 
 I sit here and often wonder about so many things. I have such curiosity about everything. What do you look like? Do you look the same as you did when you were here or do you look different? What do you do all day and night? Do you eat? Do you sleep? Can you go anywhere you want to go in the world? Do you see all our family and friends that are there in Heaven too? Can you talk? Do you have " wings "? What does Heaven look like? Is it just as beautiful as they say it is? Have you met God? What was that like? How long did it take you to get to Heaven? Who was waiting for you when you crossed over? I have so many questions that I long to somehow get answers to. I think we all have the curiosity about it... just some are scared to ask about it. I plan on having another session with Forrest soon..maybe a couple months from now so maybe you will be strong and come through again for Mom. Also, like I said to you yesterday I will be going to meet Theresa Caputo and I am crossing my fingers that you are really strong and she gives me a reading! 
 It has been a sunny day here and the sun is about to set for the evening. I will be looking to the sky to find my bright star. Be listening for my whispers. I miss you so much Tyler. I love you beyond this entire world. Sweet dreams my sweet boy. Fly high and free in Heaven and I shall chat with you tomorrow. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!