Dear Tyler,

Hi buddy! Mom wants to start off today's letter by telling you just how sorry I am for not writing to you on Sunday. I have no excuse for it. I did a lot of housework yesterday and then made a dinner. When we were finished I was just so tired. I shut my computer off and laid on the couch and watch football. I wanted to turn on the computer and give you a letter but my eyeballs thought differently. I went to bed early. Again.. I am so sorry.
 Ok.... I hope you are doing well today. It is Monday, Columbus Day. It is a quiet day for Mom. Pups are sleeping so that is nice. Max is holding on still. He is one tough nut. He sleeps a lot but is still a good boy. Snickers is doing well. I think he may be feeling tough today. He isn't eating or drinking much and is really sleeping. Can you watch over both of them for Mom? I would appreciate it a great deal. 
 I know you are always with me pumpkin. I know you were with me when I had my daily cry. I saw that dog video on facebook and it made me cry so dang hard on so many levels. I either watch my tv show Long Island Medium or see a video on facebook and I just loose it because it touches me in different ways. I think of you and I can't help it. I just start crying and can't stop. I don't try to either. I actually think it is healthy and it is also helping me heal. Some days I don't think I have any more tears to cry but then I surprise myself and the tears just flow. I wish I could say that someday it will stop but I know that it is a lie. I really think I will do this for the rest of my life. I miss you so much and this is so hard living without you. It is the worst feeling in the world.
 I am watching my show right now and it is about these parents that lost their son. The Dad just said it... " Time is suppose to heal all wounds, but not this time.. the wound is too deep. " Boy... how I can relate to that. Time will never heal my broken heart and fill the void that I have. I long to see your face and hear your voice and I know that will never happen again. I am trying to grasp the concept that you are never coming back and I will never be able to kiss your sweet face or hug you again. I am sorry, Tyler... I know you don't want me to feel this way. I am trying to stop but it is just so hard. I just keep saying " One day at a time. " That is all I can do. I do want you to know I have a great support system. Everyone checks on Mom weekly to make sure I am ok. That makes me feel better to know I have family and friends who love me.
 It is another overcast day here... I am hoping that the clouds move out so that I can see my bright shining star tonight when I go out and walk the pups. It means a lot to me to know that you are my shining star and watching over Mom. Be listening for my whisper tonight along with my kisses to you. I love you so much. You are my everything. Always will be to Mom. I miss you bunches. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!