Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet boy. I hope you are doing well today. Mom is doing better. Got some sleep last night after none for 2 days straight. The sun is shining and it is warm out today. High 80's I believe. The weekend was a bit rough for me but I got through it... just barely but I did it. Things just seem to be so much harder lately with you being gone. I don't know why but it is. Maybe part of it is because in just a short time it will be the Holidays that I not wanting. I am wishing that they wouldn't come at all. Guess that is because this will be the first time in 22 years that I don't have you to celebrate with. It will be the first time ever that I won't see our family either. This is going to be a very rough Holiday season for Mom. It makes me very sad to even think about it right now so I won't. 
 So Mom was suppose to go home to NH this week.. actually in 3 days but that isn't happening either. I am so sad at this as well. I was really looking forward to seeing everyone again and coming home to visit you. It is a long story on why I am not going, but I don't need to tell you why because you already know. I am not sure when I will be going home now. Hopefully before Winter really hits in New England. I don't want to be traveling again in the snowy months and get stuck somewhere like last year. That was hell! Remember all those times that I shared with you and all the stories???
 I miss our talks so much. I miss our laughing together and believe it or not I miss our arguing. Us butting heads because we both were so stubborn and so much alike. I would give anything to have that again! I love you so much Tyler.
 I want you to know that I am trying so hard to move forward. I want to make you proud for a change. I am trying to smile and laugh for you so you can see and hear it. I believe that is what you want from Mom. I know you don't like to see me sad and cry. I am going to continue my best to take steps forward and not backwards. This I promise you. 
 Thank you for all that you continue to do for yourself,  for Mom and for all of our friends and family. I know you are doing great things up there in Heaven. I hear you are quite busy and helping Aunt Becky too. That makes me smile :). I will continue to do good things down here for everyone who needs it. 
 I hope you have a great night. Sweet dreams my precious son and Angel. I love you with all my heart and soul. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

P.S. Can you help Grandpa out.. Election time is coming in a couple weeks. Grandpa really wants to win and I hope he does. He will be really good at it and I know he will make a difference in Claremont. Please help in any way you can. Thanks Ty!